SK Chase weblog

The What, Why and How of Social Networking

June 14, 2009 by Kaye Taylor

Social Networking strategy for my business

Having ignored internet social networking for a very, very long time; primarily due to having a limiting belief that ‘it just isn’t for me’, I have now woken up to the great possibilities and opportunities that proactive social networking presents.

Having committed to Twitter (and commit I have, as doing it half-heartedly does not work), I rapidly realised that to tap into the sea of potential that is the world-wide-web of amazing people connected to their internet machines, I needed a plan; A plan that will help me stay focussed, aid my businesses growth and, importantly, be fun.

And because social networking is all about connecting, sharing and learning, I’d like to share my plan with you – I hope it helps us both connect with who we want to connect with; remembering that oftentimes we don’t know who we want to connect with, until we do!

Why I am committing to social networking

To connect with relevant people
To learn about topics I’m interested in
To share my key learnings

Once I’d established why I wanted to proactively network online, the first thing I did was to consider who I want to create relationships with and get connected to. My Marketing Operations tutor drilled into me that with any marketing plan segmentation always comes first. (She used to repeat over and over, in a sharp staccato fashion ‘SEGMENTATION, TARGETING, POSITIONING!’).

Seems a bit formal, to be applying this to a social networking plan, however I want to be as focussed as possible so that I don’t end up using valuable time engrossed in a web of social networks which aren’t assisting my business or my own growth.

So, in my case here’s who I have decided I want to connect with via social networking tools:

People

Potential partners (other business operators who serve the hotel market), for example
- Hotel marketing professionals
- Hotel website designers
- Hotel software providers and distribution channels
Inspiring entrepreneurs
- Innovators
- Leaders
- Best practice social networkers & sharers of knowledge and latest trends
Existing and potential clients
- luxury hotels & resorts in the UK, Europe and North America

And here’s what I’d like to share:

My thoughts, feelings and experiences about running and growing a business serving the hospitality sector.
- I’d like to provide an open, honest and fair account of the ups and downs associated with being a business owner.
My key learnings about social networking, including:
- Useful social networking tools that have helped me and my business
- Useful blog posts & video streams that have helped me and my business
- Ideas on social networking for luxury hotels and resorts (and comments about what works and what doesn’t)
Stuff that SK Chase is working on
- including some personal news about me

What is Internet Social Networking?

So that’s why I’m doing it, but what, exactly, is social networking?

Internet social networking is similar to traditional networking, but much more rapid, relevant and fluid.

It provides people with the opportunity to connect with other people who share the same interests, either on a personal or business basis. But more than that, it provides an opportunity for me to see who the person I’m connecting with, is connected to. This doesn’t happen in a regular conversation.

This 2 minute video blog, Social Networking in Plain English, by the brilliant Lee LeFever helps illustrate this point further.

Context for social networking

To help me with my strategy, and to keep me focused, I have chosen an overall context, for my social networking plan of ‘creating relationships’.

I will re-anchor to this context when I’m faced with a choice and need to make a decision about whether or not I do something related to social networking.

For example, if I am faced with a dilemma such as ‘should I spend 10 minutes adding information about myself to my profile?’, the answer will be a resounding ‘yes’, because the more I share about myself, the more people are going to feel comfortable connecting with me.

And if I’m tempted to not bother responding to someone who has taken the time to contact me via a social networking site, if I remember to hold the context of ‘creating relationships’ this will encourage me to make the effort to connect.

You may think that by holding my context of ‘creating relationships’ whilst considering whether to watch a video stream link I’ve been sent on a social networking site about endangered Yellow Tailed Woolly Monkeys in the Peruvian Andes, that I may choose not to, however it’s these extra little bits about people’s interests that really help you to connect with them – and find out about the human being behind the business.

And changing the context, changes the content, as my wonderful Shirlaws coach, Fergus King, has successfully taught me. Other contexts could be ‘fun’, or ‘focus’, or ‘depth’ or ‘speed’.

Traditional networking

I have experienced that it is much less nerve-wracking approaching someone on twitter, than it is walking up to a group of people who are having a conversation about a topic that I’m interested in.

And, subject to you knowing exactly the type of people you want to connect with, it’s so quick to find people with similar interests.

I’m not knocking the more traditional styles of social networking; clearly, if I choose to attend a networking event which is specifically for business operators that provide a service to luxury hotels and resorts, then I’m going to meet people relevant to my business. However, how many I actually connect with will be dependent upon many variables on the day. For example, where I’m sitting, the format of the event, what time of day it is, whether I end up having a long engrossing conversation with one person, or short, unfocussed conversations with many others.

I’m not replacing traditional networking with online networking – I’m adding a new tool. I.e. it’s an AND thing and not an OR thing. And the bizarre part for me is that the more I connect with folk online, the more I want to connect with folk offline too!!!

How I’m going to use social networking

So now we come to the implementation piece of my plan.

Which social networking sites?

There are tons of social networking sites (until recently I was only aware of a handful of them). Wikipedia provides a useful table showing the social networking site name, description and purpose. I was amazed to discover the vast array available for niche topics.

There are also industry-specific social networking sites; for example two UK based hospitality social networking sites that I have come across are www.hotcatuk.com and Table Talk.

These industry-specific sites may be good for connecting with people relevant to my industry, but in my opinion, it is healthy to be proactive in a selected ‘general’ social networking site – to widen the net, so to speak. And the really proactive hospitality industry leaders will have their own twitter account anyway.

Focus

The biggest investment regarding social networking is my time. Therefore I have decided to primarily focus on one social networking site and choose three ‘satellite’ sites that I dip into and out of.

And the winner is: Twitter

This is because it’s the site that most resonates with me; I immediately ‘got it’ and it is the site that spurred me into social networking action. For further info on my love affair with twitter visit my article ‘Why I love Twitter (and thought I hated social networking)’. Oh, and incidentally my Twitter handle is @ThisisKaye

The secondary site that I am going to dip into on a less frequent basis is LinkedInn.

And I will be keeping a close eye on www.hotcatuk.com and Table Talk for opportunities to connect with relevant people.

How long will I spend on social networking?

The biggest investment regarding social networking is time. I don’t have to part with a dime by registering with the social networking sites I have chosen; there is no joining or annual membership fee (unless I choose to subscribe to the more advanced features on some sites), but it does eat into my HAPD (hours available per day).

I have seen how easy it is to ‘lose’ 3 hours engrossed on Twitter (which is one of the reasons I decided to write this plan). Now, if it’s a Friday evening and I’m really enjoying it, no problem, however I must find a healthy balance during the week, if I’m to achieve my business goals!

Therefore I intend (intention is the keyword here ) to spend half an hour during the day to posting and reading tweets (if I choose to spend more time in the evening, that’s my prerogative!) and two hours a week considering & writing longer entries for my Blog.

It’s important, if I am to be perceived as credible, not only to recommend blog posts that others I respect have written, but to also author my own opinions and experiences.

When is the best time to socially network?

When the inspiration hits me. First thing in the morning is always good. Today is a Sunday, and I find that I’m most relaxed writing blog-posts on Sundays!

Letting people know I’m Tweeting

I’d like to make my contribution towards expanding the web of social networking; I’ve noticed that whilst there are a number of proactive luxury hotel and resort operators using the likes of twitter, there is still a high number who have not yet tapped into this amazing opportunity.

Therefore I will be emailing all of my main contacts and inviting them to read both this post and my previous, to encourage them to take action.

How to keep people interested.

Be honest. Say what I think. Be brave and willing to be open and show my lack of knowledge. Be brave and willing to show my wealth of knowledge!

Be consistent with my approach – I’ve written this plan as an aid for my social networking. Of course it is not set in stone, but now I have the opportunity to be consistent.

And finally to have a lot of fun; by showing my enjoyment in each social networking encounter I have, this can only positively influence the myriad of future social networking experiences my future holds!

Posted in Social Networking, Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

Why I love Twitter (and thought I hated social networking)

June 7, 2009 by Kaye Taylor

I have to say I feel like a bit of a laggard when it comes to Twitter. I had wrongly made the assumption that I would hate it, and for a long time just couldn’t see the point of it at all.

But in the last few days that I’ve been a member, it’s opened up a whole new world. And I love it.

I love the fact that I can follow people (without them having to follow me back). I love that it’s so open and not (the majority of the time) permission based.

I love that we don’t have to ‘make friends’ – but rather we are naturally making relevant connections – which, one day, may indeed turn into friendships.

I love how fluid it is. I spent 3 hours on Friday evening following folk who people I respect are following. In the past I would have thought ‘how sad’ and what a waste of a Friday evening. But it was really enjoyable! And interesting… and I learned a whole bunch of stuff too.

I love how expansive it is. So far I haven’t come across any annoying bottlenecks.

It’s informal.

It seems that there are absolutely tons of people on twitter with whom I’d like to connect.

Already, I’m being introduced to innovative and relevant companies for my business through tweets made by business owners I’m following, that I simply wouldn’t have heard about in the past.

For some reason, to me twitter doesn’t feel as showy as facebook, or as formal as linkedin. It’s pitched, as far as I’m concerned, perfectly for me. And that’s the beauty of it, other people who are nothing like me will feel the same.

I feel comfortable with it; whereas I’ve never felt comfortable with facebook (as much as I tried) and I’ve never proactively used linkedin (in spite of being connected to business people through it).

I have Linda Urquhart, CEO of Morton Fraser to thank for this. I recently attended one of Linda’s business women’s network events where Coach, Jackie Cameron gave a great talk on social networking. Jackie, in spite of not having internet access at the venue, managed to change my world!

I mostly love the fact that twitter mixes business with pleasure; that as well as providing a platform for businesses to share stuff that they’re working on, I also get to read the personal tweets made by business owners I’m following – and I feel like I’m getting to know them and seeing behind the scenes of their business. I can see how twitter is making business a friendlier arena to be.

I may be preaching to the converted here and you may be thinking, “how sweet, she’s just discovered Twitter, the social networking site that everyone on planet earth, apart from her, is using”. But if you’re not… and you’re wondering what all the fuss is about, jump on board – it’s fun!

ThisisKaye

Posted in Business Culture, Uncategorized | 10 Comments »

Why are we here?

June 3, 2009 by Kaye Taylor

Why are we here? No really, why ARE we here? What’s the point in it all?

I asked my sister, Suzy, this not so long ago and she told me that the reason we’re here, on planet earth, is to love and to be loved.

That shut me up.

Generally speaking, I have a natural tendency (or habit) to put a positive spin on things. It’s served me well in many ways – every now and again I spiral ever downwards and briefly lose the ability to believe that there is anything good in the world. Thankfully, though, these spells are infrequent and short. I was told recently that only focussing on the positive creates blind-spots. I didn’t understand what that meant at the time.

I do now.

The last few weeks have been challenging, to say the very least. And the blind-spot analogy rang very true.

By only focussing on the positive aspects of our business, I neglected an area that required attention. And I have observed, in my life, that the universe has a habit of forcing things upon me when I ignore them (or deny them).

So, once again, many more lessons are being learned (see, positive spin, I can’t help it) and it’s actually refreshing to be in a space of reality rather than dressing something up to be better (or different) than it is.

One thing that always surprises me is how supportive people are. Running a small business by default means having good times and tough times. And I’m very, very grateful to all those people who are there to support us during both.

And as for our business, having looked at, and I mean really looked at it, we’re making some changes and it’s been an emotional time for all involved. And I want to thank our team from the bottom of my heart for being such fabulous, understanding and supportive individuals.

One thing I’m happy to report is that the S and the K in SK Chase are enjoying a stronger and more real partnership than ever before.

I now truly understand what the word ‘together’ means. And I’m definitely up for giving some love – and joyfully and gratefully receiving it.

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Time of change

March 11, 2009 by Kaye Taylor

We’re going through internal change within SK Chase right now. It feels like a deep cleansing period; we’re reviewing exactly what we do, why we do it and who we do it for. To do this properly, we have acknowledged areas of our business that haven’t worked out (and why) and now agreeing upon what stays and what goes – and how we can build upon those areas that have worked out (because there are those areas too!) – so that we can make them even better.

We are working at a fast pace – the whole team is on board and committed to this journey. Sometimes it feels scary, most times it feels amazing and I love the unity this brings. We’re making many decisions that are changing the shape of our business – most definitely for the better.

As a result of this cleansing period I’m already feeling clearer and seeing a sharper picture of our vision. Yes, these are challenging times – and exciting times too!

Right now I’m focusing on both accepting what is whilst simultaneously seeing a clear picture of who I want to be and what I want our business to look and feel like in the future.

As I shared in my last post, I’m committed to improving our relationships with our customers – and I’m so grateful to those hotels who work with us and help us develop and grow. Thank you!

Posted in Business Culture, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

Flying free

December 11, 2008 by Kaye Taylor

I love my job right now.

Why? Because for the first time in 3 years I know exactly what I’m meant to be doing (and I’m actually doing it!) and I know how I contribute to our success.

When Steph and I first set up SK Chase I felt like I was flying – I knew precisely what my role was – to create a product, to create relationships, to create awareness and to create systems that supported our business (I enjoy creating!).

And then, somewhere along the line things got a bit hazy. I stopped flying. I stopped creating. I felt trapped. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to be doing. I could see lots of things that required attention (we had grown by then and had offices, a team of people and lots of customers) but I didn’t know where to start. Things weren’t clear.

Things (I) have changed. Steph and I have been spending our energy and attention for the past 8 months, supported by Fergus, our business coach from Shirlaws, on our Vision, our strategy and the functionality of our business. When I first met Fergus, I told him that I wanted to know how I contribute to the business – and that I wanted to fly again.

So now, after going within myself and facing what was there and by dealing with a lot of stuff in and on the business, I now have clarity and focus. As well as being Chair of SK Chase which involves being the initiator, the visionary (as in looking to the future), the figurehead and the leader I am also head of Business Operations (i.e. money through the door). And I LOVE it!

All I can see is an abundance of opportunities and choices. Here are some of them; I choose to improve our service and relationships with our customers. I choose to help our customers grow their existing gift voucher business; I choose to create a complimentary product and service. I choose to create relationships with distribution partners. I choose to create new relationships with new customers. I choose to ‘flow’ and to ‘fly’.

As I was walking to work this morning, I realised, as the excitement about our future was bubbling within, that I reminded myself of our old dog, Brandy, who at the mere mention of the first letter of the word ‘walk’ would start shaking with excitement and her body would go flat down on the floor and ripple – and when, finally – after what to her probably felt like years went by (as I’d gather her lead and biscuits and put my boots on) she was let free – she would fly across the fields as fast as the wind and she’d behave towards everything and every person that she encountered as if they were the only and the most amazing thing or person she had ever come across and she’d wag her body with her tail, beside herself with joy. Well, that’s kind of how I feel. And guess what? As I write this, my favourite song has just come onto the radio – Sunchyme by Dario G …. life is good right now.

And once again, I know where we’re flying to. We’re not just randomly running across the fields and smelling the fragrances that we come by. We’re on a journey together. And it feels amazing.

Another thing I’ve realised – Having responsibility doesn’t mean lack of freedom. I am free AND I’m responsible.

Yahoooooooooo!

Right, I’m off to make a cup of tea right now – and then I’ll sit at my desk and take off… By the way, if you want to feel like this too – give me a call and I’ll give you Fergus’ number…!

P.S. Steph and I had lunch with our sometimes gruff, mostly lovable, always intuitive and certainly always direct non-exec director, Brian Johnston, yesterday – he commented on this blog and said he felt like I bare my soul. I didn’t get the impression he enjoyed reading it – so I asked him why he did; and he said ‘I don’t have to enjoy everything I read’ – that made me laugh out loud. However, he also went on to say that he enjoys being open and in fact would quite like to write a blog himself (and boy, does he have a few stories to tell).

So, Brian, I know you’re reading this, so put your money where your mouth is and create your own blog (See? I can be direct too).

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Gratitude

November 29, 2008 by Kaye Taylor

With Elaine at the early stages of setting up her own business, it got me thinking and remembering my own experience with setting up SK Chase. And I have so many people that I am grateful to. Peter Taylor, owner and Chair of The Town House Collection gave us our first break – as well as being our mentor; he also donated our first office – his own office, to be fair, in the attic of The Bonham Hotel. Prior to that Steph and I had been working from my dining room (which we did love, and spent hours and hours discussing and feeling our vision and the fact that one day, (said Del-boy style) we’d be millionaires.)

Having our first proper office was very exciting. It coincided with us having our first member of staff, Natasha Lynn – another person I’m so grateful for. Natasha has been a core part of our business from the very early stages – she knows and loves our clients well, and the feedback I have received is that this is reciprocated.

There is one company, though, that gave me the most exciting thrill I’ve ever had in business – and a company that I love so much – and all the people in it. And that’s Gleneagles Hotel. I remember meeting the then Marketing Manager, Steve Woods at a Conde Nast Johansens event, when I was still working full time for Peter Taylor at The Town House Collection (Peter supported us in setting up our own business, even when we were working directly for him – more gratitude!). I explained to Steve that Steph and I had set up SK Chase and explained what we did (at this point we had 8 clients) and I asked whether we’d be able to come and see Gleneagles and learn from them (Gleneagles were already hugely successful in selling gift vouchers – and already promoted and sold them via their website).

The long and short of it is that Gleneagles invited us to come in and audit their processes and identify whether there was any way we could improve their gift voucher systems. And I remember putting together that proposal so well. It was the most important document I’ve ever put together in my life. And I loved every minute of it. Steph and I had spent days working on this project – and it was such a thrilling experience to be pitching to one of the best hotels in the world. And we knew that if they decided to work with us, that it would really put us on the map and open so many doors for us.

When I got that call from Steve – I was sitting in a meeting at The Edinburgh Residence and I had already explained to Mark Forrester (Occupancy Marketing) –another person and company that has supported us from the very beginning – that I was expecting this call, and had to take it… And when Steve called and said ‘it’s a no-brainer – of course we want to work with you’, well, I jumped for joy! This was the first strong sign that we had a serious business. And the fact that Gleneagles was willing to work with us at such an early stage in our development – showed courage and belief on their part in innovation (which, as I had explained to me recently by the absolutely brilliant Darren Shirlaw, who founded Shirlaws, is simply about doing things differently). And Gleneagles chose to do things differently. Thank you, Gleneagles! And the wonderful thing is, is that strong relationship still exists today. The team there are a joy to work with and always on the ball.

So, what I’m saying is that I remember that exciting early phase well and so much of our success has been because of other people supporting us. And it’s wonderful to be in that place now, where we can support Elaine – so listen up, if you have any copyrighting needs, Elaine’s your woman. She’s a brilliant writer and has that rare gift of being able to write in different voices and tones. So please do get in touch with her – www.topcatcopy.com.

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Farewell to Lady Chase

November 28, 2008 by Elaine Gunn

Well it’s been a while since I posted my last blog on Lady Chase, and now the time has come for me to make my last entry. There’s been a lot going on since I last wrote, and now I’m off on my merry way to start my own writing business – and very exciting it is too! I’m writing this from my new office (the premises formerly known as “home”) having finished up with SK Chase last Monday.

It’s been a dream of mine for some time now to be my own boss, and in the spirit of “no time like the present” I’ve decided to get my act together, focus, and really go for it. I’ve built my website, asked for a print quote for some business cards, and have set up my laptop, wireless mouse and keyboard in the little yellow attic room upstairs. It’s a humble beginning, but I’m hopeful that it will eventually lead to great things.

Reading back on a few of my old posts, the last year seems (a bit bizarrely) to have been preparing me for this, unbeknownst to me. Check out Fighting Fear Flags with the Vision for a prime example; now more than ever it’s important for me to have a clear vision of the future to look forward to – otherwise I’d just sit about, paralysed by fear and waiting to default on my mortgage. As it is, I’m feeling the fear (by God am I feeling it…) but I’m determined it’s not going to take me down.

My vision is to be working steadily from my new home in the country, comfortably installed in the back bedroom with a colourful and flexible home office. I’ll be working four to five days each week, and will be feeling fulfilled, challenged and satisfactorily in control of my own destiny.

It’s an exciting prospect, and I’ve learned such a lot from Kaye and Steph during my time here at SK Chase, that I feel I’ve got the ideal springboard to get myself going. The most important thing for me to remember is that I need to believe in myself; there’s no need for me to know everything all at once – I can figure it out as I go.

So just before I finish up here, I’m going to share a short list of the Top 5 interesting and unexpected things I have learned so far about the process of starting a business:

Despite being pants-wettingly frightening, it’s absolutely 100% more personally satisfying when something goes right – even if that’s something that you would previously have found dull in the manner of a grey-clad Gordon Brown watching a 4 hr documentary on effective flour grinding methods, in Belgium.
It’s important to have realistic expectations of yourself and your baby business. Getting yourself into a panic-ridden pickle on Day 6 because you haven’t landed a huge contract yet is not only unnecessary, it’s counterproductive and wastes many, many tea bags.
Get yourself a proper comfortable office chair if you’re going to spend a lot of time in front of a computer. You wouldn’t believe how much an unnecessary Day 6 panic-ridden pickle can be exacerbated by unpleasant lower back pain.
Pick as many business brains as you can. My biggest realisation so far (and what gave me the stones to attempt this) has been that there’s really no difference between me and the sort of person who can run a successful business. Surround yourself with entrepreneurs who are already reaping the benefits of self-employment – that could be you…
A cup of tea does not in fact solve everything (see Nr 2) but can go a long way to helping you calm down and gain a little perspective. Time out is important, particularly if you’re in the habit of placing high expectations on yourself.

So, with all this in mind I’m off to see if anybody out there needs a skilled and committed, if slightly irreverent writer with a natty line in absurd Gordon Brown imagery.

Wish me luck….?

Elaine’s new copywriting business is called Top Cat – check out her website at www.topcatcopy.co.uk.

Posted in Personal development | Tagged self employment, start-up businesses | Leave a Comment »

What does taking responsibility actually mean?

October 18, 2008 by Kaye Taylor

The answer seems obvious at first, however during our recent coaching day with Fergus (Shirlaws – Love Business) – Steph and I took a surprising amount of time coming up with what taking responsibility actually meant for us…
And it’s an interesting questions because Steph and I have a 50/50 business relationship – we operate an equal partnership and have unintentionally created a situation where, in some cases, it’s not clear (to us or our team) who is ultimately responsible for certain functions of our business.

Thank fully we have complementary strengths and naturally veer towards different aspects – however we’ve never properly acknowledged who’s in charge of what and in some cases both of us try to be the boss…

Certainly one thing we’ve learned – and realised through experience – is that when it is not clear who is the ‘Captain’ of a project – or when two people are responsible – the project doesn’t achieve our desired outcome. It has become clear, too, that for me responsibility evokes fear within – fear of being trapped (I have a strong desire to be free); fear of failure (what will people think?); … and guess what? Fear of success (do I really deserve such huge success?).

We have a clear vision – we can see the vividly painted picture of our exciting future – and we know that when we do experience these fears – which are inevitable – to question the fear, and not the vision.

Interestingly, Fergus, our coach, asked us what the opposite of responsibility is; blame. And both Steph and I have experienced blame cultures – in previous roles – so it’s ironic, isn’t it, that whilst I’ve always maintained that we would do everything in our power to prevent a blame culture within SK Chase, we have, to a small degree and certainly subconsciously, done just that. Because if we (Steph and I) don’t feel that awareness and step up and say – Okay, this is mine, the buck stops with me – then what happens? Well, there’s always an external reason as to why things don’t work out the way you want them too.

Not only that, but how can Steph and I expect each member of our team to take responsibility for things if we ourselves aren’t sure of who’s responsible for what?
So it’s only fair that Steph and I face our feelings, take self-responsibility, commit to taking ownership and be fully accountable for our desired outcomes. And invite our team to do the same – for their areas of the business.
I experienced a mental and physical shift from within when I started (only recently) to take full responsibility for myself. I.e. accepting and acknowledging that I create the whole of my reality (albeit subconsciously much of the time). But it feels wonderful and I feel like I now have the key to creating the sort of life I really want.
So… this subject currently interests me a great deal – and regardless of the current economic climate, in order for us all to realise our goals it is vital that we each take responsibility for ourselves and our businesses.

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What’s in a name?

August 14, 2008 by Elaine Gunn

Kaye received a hilarious email today from her sister Suzy, who lives in New Zealand.

Suzy had been reading this blog, and was impressed with how dynamic and successful our names made us sound. Apparently, the names Elaine Gunn, Stephanie Wilson and Kaye Taylor bring to mind the following (I quote)…

“Elaine Gunn sounds like a murder mystery novelist who also does private eye work on the side, Stephanie Wilson sounds like the shoulder pad queen of day time soap operas and Kaye Taylor sounds like, well for some reason what came up was an Oscar winning costume mistress on the set of a Jane Austen adaptation movie – sorry about that one! Anyway, stars in the making from the names alone “

Brilliant!

So in true private-eye style investigative fashion, I promptly went off and did a bit of Googling to find a fabulous new (to me) term, “Nominative Determinism”. This was coined by New Scientist magazine around 1994 to describe the phenomenon of peoples’ lives and career choices being influenced by their names.

It all sounds a bit like codswallop, until you read up on the examples provided, most notably the research paper on incontinence in the British Journal of Urology, written by J.W Splatt and D. Weedon, or the Ayrshire history teacher whom my Dad reliably assures me was named Norman Conquest.

I’ve often wondered if my maiden name, Duff, has influenced my life at all. Certainly at high school I felt the bite of having an unfortunate surname. I was commonly known for my first four years there as “Duff’s little sister” – so not only was I without my own identity, but my second-hand persona actually stemmed from a word with negative connotations.

I’ve spent twenty or so years twitching uncomfortably when newly-pregnant women have been described as “up the duff” – not the most dignified use of my erstwhile surname – progressing to full-blown disgusted tuts of disapproval when colleagues or friends refer to “duff” information or “duff” items as being broken or somehow sub-standard. Honestly, how tactless…

If names are meant to influence the lives of their bearers, then maybe this perceived negativity around my surname had something to do with my aggressively (attempted) overachievement at school. I was never one to cope particularly well with failure, in fact when I received my higher results at 16 and saw to my horror two Cs nestling in between my A’s and B’s I spent the rest of the afternoon howling inconsolably on the sofa. It turned out some time afterwards that there had been a horrible mistake, and I’d actually achieved the straight A’s and B’s I’d expected (I fear I became a bit smug when that information came through…), but I do remember that afternoon as the blackest of adolescent holes from which there seemed to be no possible escape.

You never know, perhaps my pathological fear of failure and my incessant need to be perceived as over-performing, stem from an unconscious rebellion against the negative connotations of my name. Maybe I’ve been trying for years to prove to the world that I’m neither broken nor sub-standard, and that I’m most definitely not an example of nominative determinism.

That’s partly why, despite being a bit of a borderline feminist, I took my husband’s name when we got married. As Elaine Gunn, I feel quite comfortably that I’ve got nothing to prove, and it’s nice. And when the inevitable pitter-patter of tiny feet is heard, it’ll be comforting to know that my offspring won’t be doomed to spend their lives twitching uneasily as their names are used tactlessly.

Apart from anything else, the mere thought of being up the duff as Elaine Duff is torturous, and would almost certainly prove too much for my friends’ fragile self control. I don’t think I’d ever hear the end of it.

Tut.

Posted in Personal | Tagged names, nominative determinism | 1 Comment »

Fighting Fear Flags with The Vision

August 1, 2008 by Elaine Gunn

A few weeks ago, Kaye decided that instead of sitting down to go through my list of work to do every week, she would start coaching me instead in personal development. Our first session led to the epiphany of sorts that I described in Who am I and What Do I Want? so you will understand that I was looking forward with some interest to the next one…

Last week it was all about my vision, what it is and why it’s important to have one.

I’ve had visions before. My most memorable one of recent years came around August 2006 while I was about 2km into a 4k run, training for my first ever 10k which was only about 4 weeks away at the time. I was starting to struggle already, and was giving myself (figuratively speaking of course) a thorough kicking for having spent most of the previous winter sitting on the couch, eating pies and watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

At that time, I was also waiting to hear if I’d been successful in my interview for my (then) dream job. I was relatively optimistic, but as always in the Bank you could never be sure until you received the letter written in blood from HR – and sometimes not even then. So things were a little up in the air, so to speak.

My vision came as I was jogging along the canal, somewhere between Ashley Terrace and the aqueduct over Slateford Road. I suddenly saw a clear image in my head of crossing the finishing line (in under an hour) at the 10k in September, knowing that I’d started the new job and was looking forward to fabulous future career shininess.

The more I thought about it, the clearer it all became. I started imagining myself being congratulated by friends and family on my double achievement, and honestly felt as if it had all happened already. My jogging improved from a reluctant shuffle to a proper speed, I started overtaking be-zimmer-framed old ladies, and before I knew it I had finished my 4k and was feeling not too shabby.

Over the next four weeks, I found out that I hadn’t in fact been lucky with the job application, leading me to question my instincts, the universe and generally the point of everything. However, since this was swiftly followed by the discovery that the usual HR wackiness had led to a thumping error and I actually had been successful, I managed to get over it reasonably quickly.

Taking all this to mean that my vision had been true, I trained religiously for the 10k every other day for the next 3 weeks until it was time for me to go to Italy for a week’s holiday with my brilliant friend Sean.

One week and copious quantities of red wine and pizza later, and with my fitness levels roughly halved as a result, I was ready to run. I finished the 10k in 59 minutes and 33 seconds, and it felt just as amazing as I had imagined it would.

The point of this whole story is very closely related to what Kaye put into words for me last week in our coaching session. During my early training, I was feeling rubbish about my running, I didn’t think I would manage to run 10k, and I was feeling daft for even having attempted it – given that I had historically only been capable of running roughly the length of a Lothian bus.

I was encountering ‘Fear Flags’ at every turn. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be good enough, that I wouldn’t be fast enough, and that the old ladies on zimmer frames were laughing callously at me as they whizzed past.

It wasn’t until I had a vision, a clear picture of the future and how great it would be, that I started to forget about the fear flags and concentrate on achieving what I really wanted. What would have happened if I hadn’t had that vision? I would have been defeated by the fear flags and ended up back on the couch with my pies and my Buffy DVDs – and I would have belonged there too.

So that’s why it’s so mega-important to have a vision. If you don’t have a clear goal to focus on, the fear flags will bring you down in no time at all. So now, I have written down my vision for the future, and I’m going to allow myself to daydream about it as much as I want, without the fear of being disappointed.

At the end of the day, and the older I get, the more I’m starting to believe that if I really want something to happen, I’ll be able to find ways of making sure it does. I’ll just keep my vision handy, and if any fear flags present themselves I’ll smack them hard with it until they give up and go away.

So another very worthwhile session with Kaye Taylor, coaching mentor extraordinaire! I wonder what the next one will be…

Posted in Personal development, Uncategorized | Tagged achievements, fear, visions | 4 Comments »

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